Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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