the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
