There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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