It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
