why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
