found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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