kristin has been a bad kristin
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
