why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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