i may or may not be watching the land before time
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
