I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
