Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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