Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
