Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
