so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
