I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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