i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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