How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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