The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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