I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I think I just sharted jello shots
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