I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
