She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
