Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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