Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
