Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
