It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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