Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
