Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Terrible idea I love it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
