which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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