i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
