is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
