I hope mine doesn't look like that
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's never too late to be topless.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize