everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
