They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
