You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
