just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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