She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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