it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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