is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
