how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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