Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
