all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
