somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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