Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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