Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i will never coherently bang her
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
