No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
