You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
