scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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