In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm always down for nudity.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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