how can u be prego again
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
