I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
