There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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