Old men and throwing up are my life now.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
