I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
