You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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