Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
