1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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