If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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