wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
