matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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