Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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