Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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