It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize